.the.haunting.hour.*him*.and.my.job.hates.my.life.

.so.I.still.have.these.nights....

I get home at one or so...

wander around my kitchen

get a drink

go upstairs

brush my teeth

get into my pj's

get in to bed....

then, just lay there.

When I get to this point, what I like to call .The.Haunting.Hour. has begun...

the haunting hour is some time between one and about 4 in the morning, where I'm not sleeping, I'm not being productive....im.just.thinking.

and for those of you who know me

thinking

is

.bad.news.

thinking during the haunting hour is even worse
in the dark everything is dull

the corners of the wall remain hidden and the clothes on my floor are out of my view

but my eyes are wide open

and all I can think of

is how to stop my fears from creeping into my thoughts and making me cringe

I never solve life problems at night

I just stew on them

I think about impossible situations

or past issues

I think about the present and its challenges

sometimes I wonder why I cant just lay there at night and think about how great my life is and how excited I am for tomorrow.

no

this is the haunting hour.

and the darkness is owned by someone completely different than the sun.

.just.a.thought.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

lately...things have been pretty steady....whatever that means...

.I.work.hard.

its tax season, I love just going hard at my job

but only

when I can see the end....

April 30th!

I love being good at my job, I like solving problems and doing something not a lot of people my age can do. I love living on caffeine pills and water because I don't have time to leave my desk and eat...

or pee...now THAT gets rough.

I smile a fake smile and tell people how they can pay the goverment thousands of dollars at their earliest convenience....if its before April 30th.

I laugh at how many clients I remember and who remember me from last year.

some guy gave me his number yesterday, he said I did his taxes 2 years in a row and he just thought I was cute...HOW embarrasing.

I love giving people discounts. my DM would kill me if he found out how many times in a day I give people 50 dollars off the cost of their return simply because I think its too expensive.

were in a depression. who wants to pay to get their taxes done.

for crying out loud!


this year is a little different tho,

last year I would just put my head down and go go go it was my escape from reality....my way of hiding from my problems and the world....then I would go home and sleep...and do it again.

.but.

this year I put my head down and go go go...then at about 6pm every night, the love of my life wanders in from his day job in a handsome suit or classy shirt....

and.makes.my.night.

Taylor will bring me a tea, or take me out for a dinner break...he will literally MAKE leave my desk to eat or just walk around. I let my job own me, but Taylor is like my break...my favorite break ever.

.Im.crazy.about.this.kid.

I'm so exhausted lately....sorry if the blogging is lame. it will be sparatic....and pathetic...but such is my life. I PROMISE I will keep you all posted on any exciting news... you know me, I like to try and keep SOME drama...i'll stir some up and report on it soon.

.z.z.z.z.z...

.x.x.

.R.